Light Armoured Vehicles (LAV), G-wagons and assorted pieces of artillery rolled down Princess Street in Kingston this morning in celebration of the International Workers' Day.The Canadian General Secretary of the Party, Jean Poutine, remarked, "this is the best parade we've had in recent memory. All that's missing is some good old-fashionned head-bashing. And gulags; we really need gulags."
Thousands of soldiers marched to be reviewed by the Secretary, while smaller celebrations took place in other cities across Soviet Canuckistan. A small group of counter-revolutionaries, led by well-known troublemaker Emmanuel Goldstein, protested but were quickly beaten back by the RCMP, the Revolutionary Canuckistan Military Police.
Further celebrations are planned for the evening, including what has been dubbed "the biggest show of fireworks since the Chinese invented powder." Police and military forces are on high alert for further actions from Goldstein's group, the so-called Counter-Revolutionary Agency for Peace, and other enemies of Soviet Canuckistan.
FNN wishes all its readers a very revolutionary May Day.
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The above was a ficticious text and a sad attempt at humour, please treat it as such.
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