Signs You've Been Single For Too Long

Here are a few parts of an epic master list I'm compiling. The first part is just a repost from a while ago, but I wrote a few more things... Oh, and if you recognize yourself in (m)any of these, well, don't feel so bad, most come from my own life or from my friends'.

Top Ten Signs You've Been Single For Too Long

10. You think geeks have it easy and "1f y0u c4\ r34d th1$ y0u r3a11y n33d t0 g37 l41d" makes sense to you.
9. You wake up alone, again, and think "aaah, the freedom."
8. You sniff your jeans and decide they'll do for another day.
7. You randomly decide to watch a season of 24. In twenty-four hours. Several times in a row. With minimal sleep in-between.
6. You play various multiplayer games while watching reruns of the Daily Show and the Colbert Report, and think "this is the life."
5. You're proud of the fact that you watched 10 years of a TV series in less than a semester, without falling behind on your homework.
4. You've stopped buying new, expensive clothes; Wal-Mart and standard-issue green t-shirts will do. At worse, you can throw a sweater on top of it.
3. You don't want to look fit to attract the opposite sex; you just want people to shut up about it, already.
2. You don't even bother trying to pick up females anymore; if anything, it takes time away from watching movies and playing videogames.

And the number one sign you've been single for too long...

1. You think dating just takes money away from your drinking and partying budget.

Ten MORE Signs You've Been Single For Too Long

You look for activities to schedule in conflict with formal events because looking for a date would be too time-consuming, and showing up alone is too embarassing.
You do an activity that people normally do to pick up people of the other sex, because you legitimately enjoy said activity… with no other intent than to have fun.
You consider buying a second hard drive to store the “entertainment” you use when your friends are all out on dates or won’t go drinking because they need to save their money for more dates.
You remember when your last date was, but you have no clue who it was with.
You remember when your last date was, and it was set up by your mom.
You think playing games like SimDate is better than actually dating, because at worse you can just use cheat codes.
You actually want to make conversation with that attractive guy/girl because he/she’s actually smart, and not because you want to get into his/her pants.
You refer to yourself as asexual.
You read all the health, style and design parts of magazines, but just ignore the parts about dating and relationships.
You listen to love songs because you like the artist, not because the song reminds you of someone.

Even More Signs You've Been Single Too Long

You understand why your 50 year old uncle/aunt is still single.
You get mad when your grand-aunt tells you you’re next at weddings, and wonder if she means you’re the next to make a huge, life-threatening mistake.
You consider your phone to be a tool for ordering pizza and Chinese food, nothing else.
Your dressy clothes have the purpose of impressing prospective employers, and not members of the opposite sex.
You’re glad nobody nags about the poster of the half-naked member of the opposite sex on your bedroom wall.
Your friends try to hook you up with their significant other’s siblings.
You hope scientists perfect cloning and genetic engineering so you can just make the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend.
You meet an attractive member of the opposite sex and don’t realize they’re attractive until your friends point out that you were totally getting along with “that hottie over there.”
You still don’t get poking on Facebook.
You only use condoms to protect your rifle’s barrel while in humid conditions.
Your stash of condoms expired in the last millennium.
You listen to sad love songs because they cheer you up.
You’re puzzled when reading about romance in books you’re assigned as work, and try to talk the teacher into letting you read something less romance-ey.
Your definition of romance is based on Bond movies.
You haven’t taken a chastity oath, but people think you have.
Your reverend has more sex than you do.
Your priest has more sex than you do.
Your religious leader advises you to get laid, because you’re going against your God’s will.
You haven’t had a date in so long you don’t remember what constitutes a good place to go on one.
Your idea of a night in is breaking out the nachos, pop, and gore movies.
You don’t even get crushes anymore.
You wish you had a stalker so you could force them to go out with you.
You’re a staff writer for jackinworld.com.
You wish for the return of arranged marriage.
You’ve signed up to at least one major dating website, and it wasn’t because you were joking or drunk.
You’re giving up on the club scene because you’re tired of all the random sex.
You’re giving up on the club scene because you’re tired of everyone else getting random sex.
You go to raves hoping people on extacy will want to sleep with you.
You’re considering joining the French Foreign Legion.
You reject every invitation to weddings, even if you’re supposed to be the best man/bridesmaid.
You don’t even get invited to weddings anymore.
Your friends don’t even tell you they’ve gotten married.
Your friends have offered to pitch in to buy you some company for a night.
Your friends want to send you on a trip to Thailand.
You don’t want to learn French precisely because it’s the language of love.
You consider that having a big back seat in your car is an advantage because you have somewhere to crash when you’re too drunk to drive home.
Your boxers have more holes than your last girlfriend’s lacy panties.
You think the youtube series We Need Girlfriends is an unauthorized documentary based on your life.
You don’t mind having a bunk bed—you don’t need that much space.